Rich White Yuppie Fight
God, I love a RWYF (see title), particularly on the bus. It literally warms the cockles of my heart. This is the best kind of hen fight – the unnecessary squabbling between passengers on a bus.
I was sitting at the front of the bus this morning when RWY #1 sits down. There are seats perpendicular to me, and that is where RWY #2 sits down, positioning her absurdly long umbrella so that it hits me in the groin. Now, some people might consider this a good thing. I am not one of those people.
RWY #1: (Loudly and somewhat pointedly): Uh, excuse me? Don’t you see your umbrella is hitting her?
RWY #2: Yes, can’t you see me trying to sit down? I have to hold this umbrella down or else it will open and then it will hit her in the face. This is better than in the face!
RWY #1: You’re still hitting her, and she can’t sit there with that umbrella just hitting her.
(At this point, I think the umbrella and I are dating)
RWY #2: Ok, I’m moving it! Do you have anything else you want to yell at me about this morning? Anything else you want to discuss?
RWY #1: I don’t believe I was yelling. And yes, I’m all ears.